Six years ago today

Ruby celebrates her 6th birthday on Thursday. This very day six years ago, I was admitted into the hospital for an early induction because Ruby was not thriving in utero. Though I was only 33 weeks pregnant, her doctor thought it was better to deliver early, rather than chance the possibility she may go into distress. I vividly remember the feelings of anxiety, nervousness and anticipation that I experienced that evening as I checked into the hospital.

There were things that I knew that day, yet so many things that were completely unknown. I knew that Ruby would be born with microcephaly and a bowel obstruction, but I had absolutely no idea that she’d also have a severe visual impairment, a PFO in her heart, a grade III intraventricular brain hemorrhage and debilitating hip dysplasia. I knew she’d be in the NICU for a while, but I had no idea that we’d celebrate Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s there.

There were so many unknowns, yet somehow, I remained at peace with what lay ahead for me and for Ruby. I had given up control to the big guy upstairs, because somehow, amongst the madness, I knew that he would protect and provide for us.

Six years ago today, I had absolutely no idea that I would look back one day and see all of the fear and anxiety that I was experiencing as just a distant memory; a scary step toward an amazing future.

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